are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
