Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
