You work out of a Hotel?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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