so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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