I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
