I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
