why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
