After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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