Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
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