jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
