your parents love me but you hate me
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
