u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
