Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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