im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
