It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Even my vagina gasped.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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