Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
