apparently the secret to your success is patron
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
