I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Randomize
