I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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