:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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