This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
