I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
