omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Randomize
