the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
