I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
