it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
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