Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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