I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
The feeling are messing with the penis
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
