Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize