return my video game
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
