I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
