I bet he comes in French.
too bad you live with your parents still
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
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