A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
