Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
