sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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