I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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