Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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