So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
