she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
