wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
