What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Randomize
