You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
you traded sex for a burrito?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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