hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Randomize
