YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
