escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
