We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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