Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize