Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
