just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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