Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
