I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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