how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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