I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
