You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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