it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
