Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
