I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
