Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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