she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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